Tag Archives: confident women

Plentyoffish Hall of Shame: The Experiment

27 Dec

It is safe to say that my single life has been constantly punctuated by instances of frustration and confusion. Like many girls I know gathering dust on the shelf, I’m quite inclined to think that I’m actually quite a catch. None of this ‘why, God, WHY??’ thanks very much. I know so many intelligent, ambitious, confident females that seem to struggle finding themselves a man. What’s going on?

Things sort of come to a head when you realise that you even struggle when signed up to an internet dating site like Plentyoffish. Sometimes I wonder how a girl like me is perceived on there. I know I’m not like a lot of other girls. My blindingly garish hair, tattoos, piercings and eccentric approach to life may be too much for some. When my list of interests includes amongst others, ‘leaves bigger than my own face’, ‘pickled onion Monster Munch’ and ‘moderate moshing’… I know I’m certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t even like tea.

There have been those moments when I wonder what’s going on that I turn to male friends and see if I can get that different point of view through testosterone-tinted glasses. One word that seems to crop up quite a lot is ‘intimidating’. It was a strange revelation for someone who spends much of her life imitating cats, marvelling at shiny things and crying at Disney films. But the more I thought about it, maybe that’s true for a lot of us confident girls. I may be soft as a play doh kitten, but perhaps my strength of character splattered across my dating profile can be off putting to the male species.

I decided to conduct an experiment.

I’m remembering what I learnt in Mr Unsworth’s science class to detail what this experiment entailed. Coincidentally, I actually quite fancied him.

AIM:

I wish to put to the test the notion that opinionated girls with strong personalities ‘intimidate’ the male population. Furthermore, I want to see if ‘alternative’ looks and interests are less favoured than the ‘normal’. Basically, do I scare men off?

HYPOTHESIS:

I think that by making an internet dating profile that makes me sound like a more ‘normal’ character with generic interests, thoughts and feelings, I will be more favoured amongst the male populace. I think that by sounding like less strong a character, more men will try and talk to me. I will try my best to not cry as I implement abbreviations and use the word ‘lol’.

METHOD:

  1. Create new profile. To make it a fair experiment, I have used pictures of myself, the test subject. I just happen to be a couple of years younger, a more natural hair colour and have had my tattoos edited out.

    Fake Me

    I never said I was any good at Photoshop. My poor bare boobies.

  2. I exaggerated the colour of my eyes and did some light editing as so many females feel inclined to do in profile pictures.

    Wholesome

    I got a lot of 'are your eyes really that blue???' messages. I started to wish they were. I've fallen into the Photoshop trap. Wholesome though, right?

  3. I chose a suitably ‘dating profile’ standard user name and headline. I became ‘Sxigrrl’ who wanted to tell the world that ‘GiRlS jUsT wAnNa HaVe FuN!!!’
  4. In the main body of my profile, I told only the truth… but chose to project myself in a different way. I also threw in a selection of text-speak abbreviations and dating profile clichĆ©s for good measure:

‘I really don’t know what to put here but here goes…!!!!!!!!

I’m a bubbly, fun lovin girl… love life, love having a laugh with the girlies!
Erm… what else? I’m a propa girly girl realli, pink is my fave colour and I’m always out shoppin! My mates all say I’m a bit crazy and random but hey! I love nights out but also love nights in cuddled up on the sofa with that special sumone.

At the minute I’m a barmaid, it’s a right laugh. I’m not sure what I’m planning on doing in the future. What makes me unique…ermm….my DNA?? LOL I dunno!!

I like films, all sorts of music, TV and SHOES LOL

Anyways, I think that’s enough for now, wanna know anything else just ask šŸ˜‰ ‘

RESULTS:

The results were pretty incredible. In the first hour of it’s creation, ‘Sxigrrl’ got thirty-seven messages to my real profile’s two. This could be a trend that would continue throughout the experiment, with at least forty-plus messages with each log-in to Sxigrrl. Over Christmas Day and Boxing Day, Sxigrrl got one hundred and thirty-nine messages to real profile’s thirty-five.

In the two weeks of this experiment, my real profile got one hundred and seventy eight messages. I’m afraid I can’t tell you how many Sxigrrl got because they start to automatically delete messages when you’ve reached four hundred.

CONCLUSIONS:

Sweet and simple is more appealing to mankind. It would seem that it is a sad truth that girls that have a lot to say for themselves can be a bit off putting. Why, though? Maybe men think they’re too much like hard work. Perhaps they think that here’s a girl who will talk the hind legs off a donkey. Of course, my profile may make me look mentally unhinged.

But there were other interesting things to be learnt. Sxigrrl, despite her name, got less crude messages than real me. Do tattooed, ‘alt’ girls get judged in a different light? Are we automatically a ‘bad girl’? Thanks a lot Bowling For Soup.

Despite this, I also learnt something which I took great pride in. Despite having a measly amount of messages than my uncomplicated alter-ego, the ones I did receive were infinitely more interesting. Sxigrrl’s neverending inbox may have had a queue of suitors waiting to grab her attention, but if she’d managed to gain much from the generic compliments and ‘Hi, how’s u’ messages I would be most surprised.

So, what I conclude is this. Be yourself. So what if the road is long and your options are scarce. What we can put faith in is that when we do find that person we click with, they’re going to like you for you. Well, that’s the theory anyway.

So long, Sxigrrl. Okay, I might still be you for a bit longer… I grew to like the fan mail. There’s still 107 unread messages to get through.

(Published at Lovescene Magazine)

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